As an intended parent and surrogate, what are the steps in a great journey?
Considering a surrogacy journey and what one entails? Here are the steps of the surrogate pre-screening process from a surrogate’s perspective and the steps of the journey in general after intended parents meet their surrogate. And a huge thank you to Rainbow Families for hosting this year’s 2023 Conference!
So you’ve read the package for your potential gestational carrier (GC) & can’t wait to meet! Your journey coordinator (JC) will lead a video intro meeting with your potential GC (and partner, if applicable) to discuss the journey overall. Assuming everyone feels excited to move forward, your JC will then initiate the joint psychological session with your GC & partner. The joint psychological session is a great time to get to know your surrogate and her family more, as well as to talk through genetic testing, termination, and developing a strong connection during the journey.
The surrogate medical screening can take about 4 weeks to schedule, and the surrogacy contract can take 4-6 weeks to complete for legal clearance. Your surrogacy journey coordinator will then work to schedule your surrogate’s medical screening with your IVF clinic. After the screening, your IVF clinic might have your GC do a “mock cycle” (2-3 weeks) to help them create the cycling protocol for the first transfer. Once the IVF clinic provides “medical clearance” to move forward, we will start the surrogacy contract process. You will have a chance to review it first, and then we will send it to your GC and GC’s surrogacy attorney. Once the contract is complete, we will send “legal clearance” to your IVF clinic for them to initiate the first cycling protocol!
IVF cycling in a surrogacy journey can take 4-6 weeks of taking injections. After meeting your surrogate, it can take 4-5 months after your intro meeting for a first embryo transfer at your IVF clinic. The medications for the cycle, including injections, pills, and/or suppositories, will prepare your surrogate’s body for the embryo transfer. This process can be time-consuming, so make sure to share your appreciation & support directly! Your GC will have 3-4 local monitoring blood work appointments before and after the embryo transfer. After the embryo transfer, there are several hCG beta appointments. Remember that not every 1st transfer takes, which is normal and to be expected. Be kind to yourself & make sure to rely on your emotional support system – friends & family, journey coordinator, & a personal/couple counselor, life coach, or psychologist.
Fingers crossed for pregnancy tests (hCG betas) over 300! Around 8 to 10 weeks after embryo transfer (6 to 8 weeks of the pregnancy), your surrogate will have 1-2 heartbeat confirmation ultrasounds at her local monitoring center or OBGYN/midwife office. We encourage you to attend via FaceTime/Zoom if possible! These ultrasounds can be emotional in many ways. We’re sending you all the luck in the world for great news at these appointments, and we’re here for you no matter the outcome. Remember to support your GC as well during this time!
Once your surrogate is cleared to her OBGYN/midwife by your IVF center, we encourage you to attend several appointments remotely or in-person to get to know your surrogate more, as well as the OBGYN/midwife team. Around 10-12 weeks, you may have the option to opt-in or out of genetic testing via the “nuchal translucency” ultrasound, which tests for genetic differences in a non-diagnostic manner. This genetic test has become fairly common and is typically covered by insurance. There may be additional genetic testing options available, which can help provide some peace of mind. Speak with your surrogate, OBGYN/midwife, and journey coordinator to make sure these appointments are scheduled carefully as the timing is an important consideration!
We will help coordinate the preparation of the parentage documents that designate you, the intended parents, as the legal parents of your baby or babies. This surrogacy attorney is typically, but not always, licensed in the state where your surrogate resides. These documents will be submitted to the delivery hospital or birth center as part of our hospital birth plan process, which starts around week 20. Lastly, to help us spread the word about surrogacy, please consider tagging us in your journey photos, videos, or even TikToks – Our online presence helps us find surrogate matches for our intended parents just a little bit sooner.
